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My Spanish class has a “Student Activities Manual” that goes along with the textbook. Every time there’s a test, we have to hand in all the activities for those chapters. I was convinced that she doesn’t read any of this, so I figured I’d have fun. This is what I wrote for a “letter to my sister”:

Querida hermana:

Lo siento. No escribo porque…pues, porque ¡tengo un novia nuevo! Y le gusto mucho…demasiado. Quieres tener sexo todo el tiempo. Ay dios mio.
Se llama Pedro. Tiene pelo negro, un nariz grande, y labios maravillosos. Estoy muy feliz con él. Oh, y es amable también. Y…ah…alegre. …Regreso en unos minutos, ¡Pedro me llama!
¡Whew! Sí, es mi vida ahora, hermanita. Espero que estés feliz y…y buena. Te amo mucho. ¡Y te amo, Pedro!

-Rosa

Loosely translated to English:

My dear sister:

I’m sorry. I haven’t written because…well, because I have a new boyfriend! And he likes me a lot…too much. He wants to have sex all the time. Oh my God.
His name is Pedro. He has black hair, a big nose, and marvelous lips. I’m very happy with him. Oh, and he’s nice too. And…um…happy. …I’ll be back in a few minutes, Pedro is calling me!
Whew! So yes, that’s my life nowadays, my dear sister. I hope that you’re happy, and…and good. I love you lots. And I love you, Pedro!

-Rosa

Well, as it turns out, she does read these things…but all she did was make a correction or two and put a check mark next to it. I don’t know what to think about that.